Fancy pants notes
When I was in Columbus I got a chance to sit in on a college class thanks to my friend Vince. I really enjoyed the experience. While I was in class, I took my own notes.
I know for sure now that if I had a computer to take notes with in high school, I would not have sucked so baldy in Zoology class.
But I digest, I took these goofy notes. Vince got confused and thought I was actually diligently taking notes when he looked over and saw me typing a million miles a minute on my keyboard. If he was actually paying attention, he would have notice that I was quietly giggling while I was typing.
But yeah, here are my notes I took. They might seem meaningless to you, but I’m sure Vince will get a kick out of them at least.
Fancy pants notes ~
- Three dimensions (Height, width, depth)
- Status (Facebook status that is)
- Intimacy (Don’t touch me, I don’t like you)
- Choice (You can pick your friends, but you can’t pick your friends’ noses.
~
Organizational culture
- Workplace values (I value the snack machine)
- Workplace norms (Just do what everybody else does)
- Workplace artifacts (Do you wear bling at work?)
Organizational networks
- Nature of information (Information wildlife, save the digital whales)
- Media/channels including virtual networks (Over 5,000 channels and nothing is on)
- Network density (Is everybody up in each other’s junk?)
Workplace cliques (Let’s go make fun of that one nerdy co-worker)
Organizational climate (Global organizational climate change)
- Defensive (All up in your kool-aid)
- Supportive (Givin’ ya high-fives)
Six dimensions from an organizational climate:
Professional peers
- Strategy vs. spontaneity (Planning how to jump over that bus VS. just jumping over the bus)
- Dogmatism vs. flexibility (You will tie my shoes VS. tie my shoes when you get around to it)
- Control vs. collaboration (I will micromanage you into an early grave VS. Let’s work together to achieve an early grave)
- Evaluation vs. description (Look at a hot bod’ VS telling someone about a hot bod’)
- Detachment vs. empathy (You could go die and I wouldn’t care less VS. You could go die and I’d probably feel bad about it)
- Superiority vs. equality (I’m better than you because I have perfect teeth VS. My teeth are just as jacked-up as yours)
- Information peers (Talkin’ about the stock prices)
- Collegial peers (Talkin’ about the boss behind his back and laughing loudly)
- Special peers (Both survived the boss’ “one cup-a-coffee-a-day” rule)
- Virtual peers (Posting rude comments on each other’s Facebook wall)
Maintain peer relationships through
- Positivity (You’re a pretty cool guy)
- Openness (I’m going to tell everybody you’re a really cool guy)
- Assurances (You’re actions give me assurances that you’re a pretty cool guy)
- Treating others as whole human beings (Opposed to treating people as half a being)
Workplace romances
- Leave your love at home (Don’t touch each other’s bits at work)
- Diminish negative perceptions by using email and other communication judiciously (Via sexting)
Upward communication
Six principles of advocacy
- Advocacy (We really need a candy bar machine, here’s my clever and deep argument for why you should get us one)
- Plan before you pitch (Practice the keynote naked in the shower)
- Know why your advisor should agree. (Because I know if he knew what I know he would agree)
- Tailor your message to your supervisor (Get his or her’s measurements, SECRETLY)
- Know your supervisor’s knowledge (Hack into his or her’s computer)
- Create coalitions before communicating. (Make a Facebook group)
- Competently articulate your message. (Run a spell checker)
Work place abuse (Beating your employees with a bat, repeatedly)
- Making unreasonable demands (Sell your kidney and give me the money to keep the company afloat)
- Sexual harassment (Touching folks junk without their permission)
- Quid pro qui (A man sexually harassing you in Latin)
- Hostile climate harassment (Firing an automatic weapon over your employees heads while yelling at them in an obscene language)
