Fancy pants notes

When I was in Columbus I got a chance to sit in on a college class thanks to my friend Vince. I really enjoyed the experience. While I was in class, I took my own notes.

I know for sure now that if I had a computer to take notes with in high school, I would not have sucked so baldy in Zoology class.

But I digest, I took these goofy notes. Vince got confused and thought I was actually diligently taking notes when he looked over and saw me typing a million miles a minute on my keyboard. If he was actually paying attention, he would have notice that I was quietly giggling while I was typing. 

But yeah, here are my notes I took. They might seem meaningless to you, but I’m sure Vince will get a kick out of them at least. 

Fancy pants notes ~

  • Three dimensions (Height, width, depth)
  • Status (Facebook status that is)
  • Intimacy (Don’t touch me, I don’t like you)
  • Choice (You can pick your friends, but you can’t pick your friends’ noses.

~

Organizational culture 

  1. Workplace values (I value the snack machine) 
  2. Workplace norms (Just do what everybody else does)
  3. Workplace artifacts (Do you wear bling at work?)

Organizational networks

  1. Nature of information (Information wildlife, save the digital whales)
  2. Media/channels including virtual networks (Over 5,000 channels and nothing is on)
  3. Network density (Is everybody up in each other’s junk?)

Workplace cliques (Let’s go make fun of that one nerdy co-worker)

Organizational climate (Global organizational climate change)

  • Defensive (All up in your kool-aid)
  • Supportive (Givin’ ya high-fives)

Six dimensions from an organizational climate:

  1. Strategy vs. spontaneity (Planning how to jump over that bus VS. just jumping over the bus)
  2. Dogmatism vs. flexibility (You will tie my shoes VS. tie my shoes when you get around to it)
  3. Control vs. collaboration (I will micromanage you into an early grave VS. Let’s work together to achieve an early grave) 
  4. Evaluation vs. description (Look at a hot bod’ VS telling someone about a hot bod’)
  5. Detachment vs. empathy (You could go die and I wouldn’t care less VS. You could go die and I’d probably feel bad about it)
  6. Superiority vs. equality (I’m better than you because I have perfect teeth VS. My teeth are just as jacked-up as yours)
Professional peers
  • Information peers (Talkin’ about the stock prices)
  • Collegial peers (Talkin’ about the boss behind his back and laughing loudly)
  • Special peers (Both survived the boss’ “one cup-a-coffee-a-day” rule)
  • Virtual peers (Posting rude comments on each other’s Facebook wall)

Maintain peer relationships through 

  • Positivity (You’re a pretty cool guy)
  • Openness (I’m going to tell everybody you’re a really cool guy)
  • Assurances (You’re actions give me assurances that you’re a pretty cool guy)
  • Treating others as whole human beings (Opposed to treating people as half a being)

Workplace romances

  • Leave your love at home (Don’t touch each other’s bits at work)
  • Diminish negative perceptions by using email and other communication judiciously (Via sexting)

Upward communication 

  • Advocacy (We really need a candy bar machine, here’s my clever and deep argument for why you should get us one)
Six principles of advocacy
  1. Plan before you pitch (Practice the keynote naked in the shower)
  2. Know why your advisor should agree. (Because I know if he knew what I know he would agree)
  3. Tailor your message to your supervisor (Get his or her’s measurements, SECRETLY)
  4. Know your supervisor’s knowledge (Hack into his or her’s computer)
  5. Create coalitions before communicating. (Make a Facebook group)
  6. Competently articulate your message. (Run a spell checker)

Work place abuse (Beating your employees with a bat, repeatedly)

  • Making unreasonable demands (Sell your kidney and give me the money to keep the company afloat) 
  • Sexual harassment (Touching folks junk without their permission)
  • Quid pro qui (A man sexually harassing you in Latin)
  • Hostile climate harassment (Firing an automatic weapon over your employees heads while yelling at them in an obscene language)